Sometimes, the task looks bigger than you
It is a learned feeling, coming from how parents, teachers, and other people in your immediate circle interacted with you since you were born.
You also feel it that way because it is very difficult indeed or maybe it hurts a lot.
Philosophers, sociologists, psychologists, and artists of many fields dedicated their lives to the world of human differences. The mysteries they implicate became fields of expertise.
As those studies reached the great public, they evolved. Millions of sofa experts came to life.
I am not one of those.
I only share my experiences.
As a mother of three, I am a fighter. My boys have a lioness for a mother, and I stand by them. It shaped my life and my decisions.
The moment I came out of the foggy sea of postpartum depression I understood that much more than hormones the weight of the responsibility had made me half crazy for a while.
I didn't have postpartum depression's ordinary reactions. I mean, I did not stay in bed or refused to see my little boy. On the contrary: but for my husband, nobody was allowed to touch my son.
My mother cried a lot, feeling offended. My grandmother almost had a heart attack when I screamed and howled like a hurt animal because she stroked his tiny little foot.
People in our family said horrible things about me. I didn't even notice they existed. Unless they tried to touch my baby in which case hell hath no fury. It was all mine.
It did not help matters my first son was prematurely born after 34 weeks of pregnancy, and that he was born with serious digestive problems, or that his life was at risk for a year.
Yeah, very painful, difficult moments over which I had no control at all.
This is how my motherhood started. I had two other boys after that and I would do it all again.
Moses was not with Noah in the ark, and Joshuah never opened the sea, but Jericho's walls stood no chance in front of him.
One of the most important things for you to do is right in front of you.
It's a given, a sure thing.
My word here is no matter how big the task, no matter how unprepared you feel, or how much it hurts it is your life, and you were born for that.
You are not insufficient to face your own life. Your choices might make it harder, and maybe it is the starting point. However, I am not one of those who like to say it all depends on you. It's not the truth and it is the mark of a merciless society.
Postpartum depression was neither in my plans nor were the waves of pain it caused.
My point is even if not everything depends on you, nobody can live your adventurer role either.
As you probably noticed, real-life is better, or harder than any Hollywood production to star.
Although, You can beat the odds.
When it is all over, you will look back in awe at yourself.
That moment when you finally put the flag on the mountain top is so astounding, amazingly rewarding there are no words in the dictionary to spell it.
You might think yourself unable to do it, but just like Moses, and with God's help, the sea will open and you will cross it.
Just remember that walking in soggy sand with cattle baying and stumbling while carrying small children was not easy.
Yet it was doable and done. For the better too.
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